After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
