So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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