life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize