He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
