On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
