Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
