From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
