therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
