i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize