My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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