I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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