if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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