okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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