Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
