So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
