They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
