After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize