It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
