She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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