no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
