god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
