Nicole vs. Life
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
