The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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