It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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