just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize