just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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