You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
