dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize