You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
