he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
