he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize