Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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