How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Two words: blizzard sex
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
