I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
