pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
