I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
