he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
