Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize