Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
