We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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