the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
