they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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