I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize