Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize