This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
