dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
