I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
