"it" just moved
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
