And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you never un-have a 4some
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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