Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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