coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
