ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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