it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
