Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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