This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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