No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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