and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
