Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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