You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
